Alien: Romulus

It is necessary to make full use of resources obtained at great cost, even if the result is only some kind of bastardised mutant. This is true for Weyland-Yutani and its real-life equivalent, The Walt Disney Company. The most surprising aspect of Alien: Romulus is its anti-originality. This time around, the Disneyfication of the franchise doesn’t have the feel of a refresh with new characters (as was the case with Star Wars: The Force Awakens), nor does it work as cultish fan-service along the lines of the serial clones from Marvel. Fede Alvarez and Rodo Sayagues wilfully turned out a CGI remix of the Alien franchise’s greatest hits, which lends itself to a game of bingo on the theme of “which cult scene, popular one-liner or iconic shot from the preceding films will be paraphrased in the next scene”. The charm (and uniqueness) of the original Alien tetralogy consists in the fact that it comprises diametrically different and stylishly and supremely distinctive films (I won’t even say anything bad about the fantastically crackpot fourth one. Alien: Romulus is only a derivative, or rather the film equivalent of an Alien-themed ride at Disneyworld – we passively pass by a series of well-known scenes that are impressively yet lifelessly rendered and something occasionally amuses or scares us, but we walk away completely unmoved at the end. Though Prometheus was silly nonsense and elicited exasperation and hatred, it is still better than this precisely crafted definition of the term “content” from the vocabulary of media corporations. (16/08/2024)

I didn't expect a groundbreaking film from Fede Alvarez that would push the boundaries of the genre and elevate the Alien theme to a new level. However, I secretly hoped he could rely on solid craftsmanship and create a functional genre film that would pay homage to the original series and overcome the bitter taste left by Ridley Scott's ambitious yet unfortunate attempts. With several reservations, I believe that as a summer genre flick meant for entertainment, Alvarez's work holds up. His approach clearly targets a young audience that drives movie theater attendance, and this is reflected in his choice of characters. The actors certainly don't perform poorly, but their characters are bland, and the chemistry between them is lacking. Alvarez doesn't attempt to bring an original auteur style, but instead continually winks at the series' fans, trying to evoke everything that once worked on screen. He successfully builds horror tension, particularly during the phase where a group of desperate individuals infiltrates an abandoned base, navigating through debris and exploring the unknown spaces of a giant wreck. However, since Alvarez is making a film for teenagers, he needs to accelerate the plot, even at the expense of basic logic and the legacy of the first installment. Facehuggers gain the speed of a racing motorcycle, and a human mutant transforms from a newborn into a giant creature within two minutes. Nevertheless, as an adventurous action sci-fi with good production design, the film reliably works. If I were to measure the film by the standards I apply to smart, top-tier productions, my rating would drop. But for what Romulus aims to be, it fulfills its purpose. Since my initial expectations were low and, not least, because film fans have very few reasons to visit the movie theater nowadays, I raise my final verdict to four stars and a 70% overall impression. (19/08/2024)

A passable genre best-of remix that lacks the factor of being significantly memorable, which was a feature of the worst films in the franchise. FedEx delivered a commemorative aesthetic parcel wrapped up in the skilfulness that one would expect from it after Don’t Breathe. However, it’s impossible to shake off the impression that all of the really distinctive moments merely comprise a derivative of the better instalments in the Alien franchise. (23/08/2024)

I have another piece for my collection of Andy's slow-circuit films. You know what they should call the stepbrother Rain? Rain Man. The concept feels schizophrenic, just like an android whose control chip keeps switching back and forth. Set between the first and second installments, Fede Alvarez wanted to cover everything up to Covenant, but at the same time, he didn’t want to suppress his own talent. The result? A generic installment that just tortures the franchise further. Similarly, Benjamin Wallfisch's music, which borrows from Goldsmith and Horner, suddenly slams in something akin to a romantic ballad. Everything clashes horribly, and I don’t just mean the new Vasquez with an endless magazine, but rather the attempt to please everyone, including the corporate producers. This is partly explained by the fact that while the average age of the crew on the Nostromo was 39.7 years, here it’s 24.4. A junior with a PC game face and a body drenched in 33% cream, naturally, doesn’t fit into the statistics. (21/08/2024)

A pop horror flick that appeals to Generation Z and won't offend the oldies. On the positive side, I'll take the superb and highly talented Cailee Spaeny and the fantastic last half hour, and on the negative side, the simple fact that the other teens are all interchangeable, I didn't find my way to them at all and didn't care if the monster made a sandwich out of them. Yes, it's nice to look at, it has the hallmark of the 70s technique Ridley Scott established in his masterpiece, the atmosphere is nicely depressing and claustrophobic, but for the first two-thirds the film painfully lacks in any kind of tension, because apart from Cailee I - as I've already written - hadn't built up any rapport with the characters and consequently didn't experience the threat of the facehuggers as such at all. Fortunately, there are enough references and allusions to previous episodes, and as a connoisseur I appreciate how "disjointed" it is in that respect: the first third is slowburn old Alien, the second the warlike Aliens, and the last one is a return to the first one, with Fede Álvarez literally quoting it. So yeah, I actually had a decent time, and since Álvarez unloaded a few scenes I hadn’t seen in this genre before, I give the film four spits of acid. (20/08/2024)